bitch

grocery store check-out clerk: "paper or plastic? or do you just wanna use those bags under your eyes?"

Watch out, world.

I found the secret to success.

PEP talk

I went to work at a hospital in Africa last year, and as a precaution (since I would be in the OR, and HIV prevalence there is about 25%, and needlesticks do happen), I brought along anti-retroviral medication for post-exposure prophylaxis. It's kind of expensive, so I didn't throw it away after I got home.

I just know that, some day, someone will snoop through my medicine cabinet, find my bottle of Truvada, and conclude that I have AIDS.

Understatement of the Year

Surgery Exit Eval:
"Dr. Psychobitch PGY-3 was difficult to work with as her mood can be unpredictable".

I'm no Superman

I (appropriately, considering the circumstances) rewatched the first episode of Scrubs. The one where JD starts his internship and realizes that after 4 years of med school, he still doesn't know crap. I laughed then at the absurdity. I laugh now at the irony. And the scary thing is, there are thousands of us interns.

The triage nurse understands this (this being my incompetence, and near misses with incontinence), and so she distributes patients accordingly. First patient I saw today: deaf. Earwax was clogging his ears. On the up side, I figured this out even before looking in his ears (he told me he could hear himself talk just fine, but couldn't hear others at all. Saved me the trouble of doing a Rinne test myself). Kobe! On the down side, it took me almost 45 minutes to figure out all the charting that had to be done. Also, I don't actually know how to remove earwax, so I referred him to ENT. I think they use miniature shovels. I wonder if they also have small rakes, and hoes, and flower beds. They probably keep ear gardens.

Thanks for your referral, we only treat healthy patients

Today we tried to arrange for some Occupational Therapy for a lady with weakness in the median nerve distribution.

OT said they wouldn't take her until she had regained full nerve function.

"Wouldn't she benefit from fine motor exercises to help her regain that function?"

"No, it's like turning up the volume on a radio that's not even plugged in. She needs to have regained FULL FUNCTION with 5/5 strength before we can start working with her."

They must see a lot of patients referred for a chief complaint of "full strength and function".

Today I paid for Step 2 CS.

I am MD.